The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
