went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
