hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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