haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
