we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
