She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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