I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
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