Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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