Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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