if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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