Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the day after is always just damage control
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she told me i tasted like america
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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