Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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