we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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