Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
