Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
