I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
