Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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