first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
im holly from the hills drunk
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
