If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
