Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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