somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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