So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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