dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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