I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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