I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I can't turn off my feet"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
