Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
