Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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