Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
