it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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