how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
