I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
