Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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