You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
