brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Randomize
