There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
