I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
