Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
