I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
