After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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