pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I didn't shave. On purpose
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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