is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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