Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
