you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
