Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Randomize
