just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He passed out mid-signature
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize