What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize