Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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