the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
