Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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