Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
