if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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