Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
