so that wasnt chicken after all
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Randomize