A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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