If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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