You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
