Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
