the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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