ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
