Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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