I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
