omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
There are leaves in my underwear?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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