omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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