I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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