debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
did i just pee glitter
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
