i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
