The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
