Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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