forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
