i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You took a bar mat shot.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
